Mentoring Families Wanted

Here's a story I wrote for today's Press about a program that BCO is hoping to expand:

By JACKIE MAJERUS

STAFF WRITER

BRISTOL – The Bristol Community Organization is looking for about 15 local families to volunteer to mentor other families who are struggling to get out of poverty.

The Neighbor to Neighbor program pairs families who are clients of BCO with families from the community, said Thomas Morrow, director of BCO.

“The goal is to mentor them so they can move out of poverty,” said Fay Tolassi, the program coordinator. “That is the ultimate goal.”

The way it happens, she said, is by the community family sharing their experiences with life milestones like going to college, returning to school, or buying a home.

“It’s up to the BCO family to come up with what they’d like to achieve,” said Tolassi. “The idea is to form a mentoring partnership so people can move ahead in life.”

A mini version of the program started about a year ago and now the agency is trying to expand it to add about 15 new community families and 15 BCO families.

“It has worked fairly well,” said Morrow.

Morrow said the BCO families generally come through the Head Start preschool program. He said there are 74 Head Start families, so finding 15 to participate shouldn’t be difficult.

Recruiting families from the community to mentor them “is a big part of the program,” said Morrow.

The program carries a one-year commitment, said Tolassi. Families willing to fill the role of mentor have to produce a couple letters of reference from a pastor or other non-family member, she said, and go through a police background check and an interview at BCO to help determine whether they’re a good fit for the program.

After that, Tolassi said, she tries to match them with a BCO family.

Besides the local faith community, Tolassi is searching for families through businesses, individuals and Parent Teacher Organizations.

Neighbor to Neighbor started about a year ago as a pilot program funded through a grant from the McPhee Foundation.

The families are supposed to have weekly contact, which can be an email or a phone call, and to get together for an activity at least once a month. On a quarterly basis, all the families get together, share a meal and discuss their progress, Morrow said.

Morrow said the idea behind the program is that everyone needs a cheerleader, a supporter, an advocate. The community family takes on that role for the BCO family, said Morrow.

Many times what’s lacking in a low income person’s life, Morrow said, is what many successful people have – someone who believes in them.

The initial grant paid for computers for the two Head Start families, Morrow said, and for internet access for all the families for a year so they could keep in touch through email.

The idea was that the community family could teach the Head Start family how to use the computer, said Morrow. Neither Head Start family had a home computer when they entered the program, he said.

“That is one of the ways they have communicated,” said Morrow.

It also provided the matched family pairs with $100 each month to cover the costs of their shared activity and money to pay for a dinner for all the families to share during their quarterly meeting, Morrow said.

The new funding, $68,000 in federal stimulus money for 18 months, won’t have the $100 stipend or cash for computers or online access, said Morrow. It pays for Tolassi’s salary, he said, and a little food for the family dinners.

“We’re going to have to get a little more creative,” said Morrow.

After learning from the pilot program, Morrow said, they may try to have more group activities early on after the 30 families are matched, so people can get to know each other more quickly.

He said there may be also more direct work on the goals set by the BCO family.

Morrow said BCO would gladly accept donations of working computers to give to the new families in the program, as long as the hard drive was cleared.

When the funding period is over, Morrow said, he hopes the program can sustain itself.

Anyone interested in participating in the Neighbor to Neighbor program should contact Tolassi at BCO at 860-584-2725.

The First Neighborly Exchanges

Here's a story I wrote for today's Press about some of the first participants in Neighbor to Neighbor:

By JACKIE MAJERUS

STAFF WRITER

BRISTOL – Neighbor to Neighbor, a new initiative of the Bristol Community Organization, harkens back to the old notion of lending a helping hand to someone in need.

The program, said Thomas Morrow, director at BCO, has the lofty goal of reducing childhood poverty, and it aims to do it one family at a time.

Neighbor to Neighbor pairs two families – one a client of BCO, often through the Head Start program, and one that is from the community, often linked to a local church. Together, the pairs try to address life improvement goals set by the BCO family.

They do it through weekly emails or phone calls and monthly get-togethers that are “like a playdate,” said BCO client Teena Quirion, a single mother of two.

Quirion and her daughters were among the first BCO families to take part in Neighbor to Neighbor. She said it sounded interesting, a way to find out how other families do things.

“We were more or less the guinea pigs,” she said, and it’s worked out well.

Her daughter, 16-year-old Britney Correll, said the idea sounded “cool.”

Quirion said she wants to move out of Zbikowski Park, where she’s lived her entire life, get a new car and maybe go to college. She wants, she said, to better herself for the sake of her children.

She gets a lot of encouragement from the Knowles, Quirion said, a Bristol couple who got involved through their church.

John Knowles said he grew up in Hartford in a neighborhood not unlike the housing project where Quirion and her children live. He’s back in school now, he said, after losing his job, and can offer her encouragement to do the same.

The Knowles pay attention to Britney, too, if she needs help with homework or other support.

Of course, the kids are friends.

Quirion’s youngest, four-year-old Morgan Shimo, is rather fond of seven-year-old Nicholas DiMaria, the son of John and Christine Knowles, the community family that got involved through St. John’s Episcopal Church.

“He’s my best friend,” Morgan declared. “I hug him.”

Nicholas said he likes Morgan well enough, but there’s a limit.

“I do not want to marry her,” he said.

Mary and Doug Larson, members of St. Joseph Church, said they learned about Neighbor to Neighbor from a notice in their parish bulletin.

“We decided to give it a try,” said Mary Larson. She’s a teacher and her husband is an accountant, she said, and their two sons are grown, so they thought they might be able to help.

“We wanted to give back to our community and this is a way of doing it,” Mary Larson said.

John Knowles said that’s also what motivated him and his wife.

“It sounded like an interesting concept,” he said.

The Larsons’ skills have come in handy for Head Start parent Jeannie Stewart, who along with her husband Jesse and their two children were matched with the Larsons.

Jeannie Stewart said Mary Larson has given her “a lot of pointers” with her special needs son.

Doug Larson said his advice to the Stewarts is, “Don’t spend. Save your money.”

Did it help?

“No, ‘cause I’m still broke,” Jeannie Stewart said with a laugh.

But Doug Larson said they’ve deliberately tried to take part in some free activities with the Stewarts.

“I wanted them to see that there are a lot of activities in Bristol that are free,” said Mary Larson.

The two couples and children get together once a month, doing a variety of activities, from going bowling, to seeing a drive-in movie to going to an outdoor concert in Brackett Park and to Lake Compounce.

All four families said they believe they’ve built a true friendship over the past year.

“We keep in touch with each other through email or by phone,” said Jesse Stewart.

Christine Knowles said she’d like to do more things with Quirion’s family, but that tight schedules can make it difficult.

Mary Larson and Jeannie Stewart both said they would encourage other families to try the program.

“It’s local and you can help people right here,” Mary Larson said. “People are apprehensive about doing it. They think it’s a big commitment. It isn’t.”

“It gives them the opportunity to meet people they may not have the chance to meet, get out of the house and be part of the community,” said Jeannie Stewart.

The Stewarts decided to get involved in Neighbor to Neighbor, Jesse Stewart said, to see if the program could benefit the children or them.

“It’s a very good program,” he said.

Jeannie Stewart said she likes Neighbor to Neighbor. Thorough it, she said, her family has been able to get out a little bit and get to know other families in a relaxed way.

Creating a friendship out of strangers isn’t necessarily a speedy process.

“It took awhile to get it started,” said Doug Larson.

Though he’s supposed to be mentoring the Head Start family, said Doug Larson, he said his family has gained from participating.

“We also make new friends,” he said. “By interacting with each other, we do things in the Bristol community now that maybe we otherwise wouldn’t have done. I haven’t gone bowling in years.”